Life Goes On
by MelanthiaChase
Summary: One thing is certain in life and that is that it will go on with or without you. After fourteen months in prison Juice has to deal with the way life has changed on the outside. Will he learn to adapt or let the changes overwhelm him? Part of the Milla/Juice saga. This story is an AU and will not follow any of the events in seasons 4 or 5.
1. Chapter 1

**I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and storylines are my own.**

**Chapter One**

Milla sat on the picnic table with her baby girl on her lap. She knew the grin on her face was dopey but she couldn't help it. Her man was coming home today, as well as the rest of the guys. Life couldn't be better and her family would finally be a single unit like it was meant to be. As Espy chattered in babytalk her mother came up to her and handed her a cup of something steaming.

"It's a chilly mornin', don't want ya catchin' smethin'." Gemma explained as she took her granddaughter from Milla's arms and cuddled.

"Thanks Ma. You hear from the prison yet? Chantal said Phil hasn't called yet." Milla asked and Gemma shook her head.

"I expect they'll be making a surprise entrance. Your dad always had a flair for the dramatic." Gemma said with a smile before she ducked her head to kiss Espy.

"Wrong, you've always been the drama queen Ma. How's Lyla, she still mad at me?" Milla asked and Gemma chuckled.

"Furious, she thinks you ruined her big day because you were jealous." Gemma explained and Milla shook her head.

"I just knew it wasn't the right time. The kids haven't had time to adjust and Opie...he needs to work shit out in his head and his heart before they take that step. I just had a long talk with him and laid it all out on the table. I never wanted to sabotage her wedding." Milla told her mother honestly as she sipped her coffee.

"I get it baby and I know Ope wouldn'tve listened to ya if it wasn't already on his mind. The man is stubborn and if it didn't sync with him he woulda just told you to mind your own business. Believe me, he's told me often enough." Gemma smiled lovingly at her daughter. Proud of her for stepping up and laying down the law with the family and not backing down just because her ideas were unpopular.

"How's the party setting up? Since you won't let me help." Milla asked and Gemma smiled.

"Good, Chantal's havin' her baptism by fire, makin sure all the food's ready, the clubhouse is clean and the bar's stocked. We just get to sit back and enjoy our men." Gemma smiled wider and Milla felt her eyes mist up. Soon her man would be home and her life would make sense again.

…

Juice fumed as they were followed by a police cruiser down Main Street. They'd barely made it into the city limits when the black and white had started trailing obnoxiously behind. They were going home, couldn't the new regime give them some time to catch their breath? Taking a deep breath Juice pushed forward on the throttle and put a little more distance between himself and Koz. He was an officer, it was time he rode like one.

As they turned off Main and onto Oak he felt a grin stretch his face that had nothing to do with the cruiser finally getting off their ass and everything to do with the fact that in four short blocks they'd be home. As T-M's sign got closer and closer he felt his chest tighten with anticipation. He was going to see his wife and little girl and there was no one to stop him from holding them.

The four blocks seemed to go by fast as the speed of light while simultaneously turning into a year's journey but they eventually pulled into T-M and Juice barely waited for his bike to stop before he jumped off and ran to his wife and daughter, throwing his helmet down as he went.

"Oh god baby." He whispered as he took his wife and child into his arms and held them until Espy started fussing. "Don't worry babygirl, Daddy's gonna hold you too."

He picked up his daughter and cuddled her while tears streamed down Milla's face and she smiled wide. Her family was back together again and she was happier than she'd been in a long time. Juice saw her tears and extended his arm to her. She moved into his embrace and he closed his eyes and savored the feeling. He had his girls and he was free, it was the best feeling in the world.

…

"Do you have the steaks and burgers ready?" Milla asked as she walked into the kitchen, her mother had lifted the ban and since the guys were in Church and Espy was with Tara she was itching for something to do.

"Yeah, we have two boxes of steaks layered in saran wrap, at least a hundred burgers and all the salads are ready to go." One of the croweaters told her and Milla smiled as she nodded.

"Extras in case?" She asked and the croweater nodded.

"Yeah, Filthy Phil finished making the patties, they're in the fridge." She told her and Milla actually walked up and hugged her, which caused the croweater to tense up, the old ladies never touched unless it was with an open palm or claws. "Ummm, what're you doing?"

"I'm sorry, I'm just so happy and you girls have been so great with this. I just wanted you to know that I appreciate what you've done." She said as she released the croweater who, despite her jaded outlook on life, blushed a little.

"I'm just doing what I was told to do. Thank you for the hug, seriously, thank you." She said and Milla grinned wide.

"You're very welcome." She asked and the croweater nodded, feeling like a bobblehead doll as she continued to nod.

"No problem, you gonna need help with anything when we're done?" She asked and Milla shook her head.

"No the guys will need your special brand of comfort when the party gets into full swing. Just keep doin' what you're doin." Milla continued to grin as she left the kitchen and was met by her mother who gave her an annoyed look.

"I thought I told you to relax. Juice is gonna be tiring you out later so you need to conserve your energy." Gemma's frown turned to a smirk as Milla blushed. "What the doc say about your ticker, you fit for marital duties?"

"I had a battery of tests run last week, the old ticker's up and running. I just have to pay attention. What about you? Your ticker good?" She smiled wickedly as her mom chuckled.

"You know I'm good, now go out and wait with the family, Juice needs to see you when he gets out of the chapel." Gemma commanded her and Milla just continued to grin as she leaned up and kissed her mother's cheek before she did as she was told.

Her good mood continued as she joined Tara at the table closest to the doors and seemed to burn a hole through them. Her man was on the other side and she needed to see him. Soon Espy toddled over to her mama and climbed in her lap. As Milla kissed her babygirl's head the doors opened and Milla resumed grinning. Now that the official business was done they could start the party and she was excited to spend the night in Juice's arms.

"Hey you." Juice said with a grin before he leaned down and kissed Milla slowly like he was savoring a delicacy, then pressed his forehead to hers as they broke apart. "Wanna head home?"

"You really want to? You're one of the guests of honor babe, you need to celebrate." She told him and he took Espy out of her arms then took her hand in his and helped her to stand. Once she was tucked into his side he leaned over and kissed her hair before he whispered onto the top of her head.

"What I need is you." He whispered and Milla felt her heart speed up. She understood his feelings, she was feeling the same way.

"You can have me, just put in an appearance then we'll go. Espy can't stay up all night anyway." She snuggled into his side while he kissed her head again. If she wanted him to stay he would but he was going to get his wife alone and when he did he was going to show just what fourteen months without did to a man's self control.

"Calm down baby, we have all night." Milla giggled as Juice's mouth worked over her neck and his hands moved up the backs of her thighs. She'd gone into the storage room to get some plates and he'd followed her, cornering her as soon as the door was shut.

"I've waited fourteen months babe, there's no calming down." He told her as he brought his mouth to hers and as much as she wanted to submit they were in the storage room in the clubhouse, someone was bound to come looking for them. Just as she was about to push him away he lifted her so that her legs automatically wrapped around his waist. As she felt the hard length of him pressed against her she lost all sense of logic and reason and finally submitted to him as fourteen months of loneliness and frustration came boiling out of them as they loved each other thoroughly.

…

"Hey kiddo." Bobby grinned as he walked up to Milla and hugged her tight. With the hubbub of the party and all the distractions he hadn't had a chance to see Milla or speak to her.

"Uncle Bobby, I' so glad you're home." She said as she hugged him back. "Don't leave me again, no one else will bake cookies with me."

"Don't worry sweetheart, I don't plan on goin' anywhere for a long time." He kissed the top of her head and she smiled. "Now, Introduce me to that baby of yours. Pictures and stories just don't cut it."

Milla smiled and walked him over to where her dad was holding Espy on his lap while she ran her little fingers over his patches She watched as her daughter looked at the new person and after a moment's consideration she lifted her arms up and Bobby picked her up. Her smile widened as Juice came up behind her, looped an arm around her waist and started nuzzling her neck.

"What do ya say about goin' home?" Juice asked as he kissed the space behind her ear that drove her crazy.

"You think we've put in enough facetime?" She asked and his response was to kiss her neck then bite. "I'll take that as a yes."

Milla got out of his arms and started her rounds of goodbyes. Juice smirked as he watched Milla dole out hugs to Clay, Bobby and Jax while Tig put her in an affectionate headlock. He stopped smirking for a minute as he said his own goodbyes, finally leaving the presence of these men he'd spent fourteen months relying on for everything from protection to sanity. It felt good to be able to put space between him and the rest of them but a part of him felt slightly panicked by being home, alone, with Milla. After so long he wasn't sure how he was going to act, or how much had changed. After they both finished their goodbyes Milla picked up Espy and joined Juice as he put an arm around her waist and walked her out to the van.

"Ok, I'll drive and you ride home. I know you've missed it." She leaned up to kiss him before she put Espy in the van and shut the door. "Let's go home and be a family."

"I can't wait." He said as he kissed her and watched her get in her cage. Once she started up he walked to his bike and put on his helmet. He was going home and despite his nerves he couldn't be happier.

…  
Later that night...

"Baby, wake up." The voice spoke and Juice began to wake up from his deep sleep. He didn't know where he was and for a brief moment panic set in as he felt a hand shake his shoulder. He lashed out and his hand came in contact with whoever was shaking him. The force of the blow woke him quickly and when his eyes focused he saw Milla on the other side of the bed holding her cheek looking hurt and confused.

"Shit, are you ok?" He asked and Milla shook her head before she looked him in the eye, her hurt and confusion turning into concern.

"You were having a nightmare, tossing and turning and mumbling. I was just trying to wake you up." She explained as he reached over and turned on the light then turned to her and took her hand from her cheek to check out the damage.

"I'm so sorry Milla, I would never consciously hurt you." He explained as she nodded.

"I know, it was just a shock. Want to talk about the dream?" She asked and he shook his head.

"Nothing to tell, I never remember them. I've been having 'em on and off since I went in. I never know when I'm gonna wake up yelling or end up tossing so hard I hit the wall. Clay says a lot of guys have the same shit when they go in for the long haul, especially if they land in solitary for a while. I'm sorry you have to put up with this." He told her and Milla simply closed the gap between them and snuggled herself into his side again.

"You'll get your head straight again baby, it just might take some time. I'll be with you the whole way." She told him and he smiled at her before he shut off the light again and laid down with her resting on his chest. He never wanted to bring this shit home but he knew his lady would help him work through it.

…

Juice woke up the next morning to the feeling of little hands using his head for a bongo. When he opened his eyes he felt a smile stretch his face as he saw his little girl staring down with a determined look on her little face. He rolled to his side and started tickling her as she rolled back on the bed and giggled.

"Where's Mama?" He asked as she continued to giggle and his question was answered as Milla came through the door carrying a tray laden with breakfast goodies. His eyes lit up as he saw her but he frowned when he noticed her attire. "You goin' somewhere?"

"I'm sorry Juice, I know today was supposed to be our day, just you me and Espy getting into the groove again but I got an emergency call from Dondo. He needs me to smooth over a faux pas he made to a big distributor. I'll try to hurry." She explained as she sat on the bed and put the tray down near him.

"You're not going anywhere. Today is our day and I'm not letting anyone take you away from me. Call him and tell him you can't make it." He said as his voice took on a hard edge and Milla stared at him with widened eyes. He'd always been so understanding about her work so this was new for her. "Or you could give me the phone."

"No, I'll call." She told him slowly before she got off the bed and took her phone from her pocket. As she made the phone call Juice picked up a piece of pineapple from the plate on the tray and put it in his mouth as Espy did the same, her eyes watching him intently. He decided to see what she would do so he picked up a strawberry and chuckled when she did too. When he took a bite she followed suit but quickly spit it our of her mouth before she slapped the strawberry from his hand.

"Ick, no." She told him as she shook her head and he grinned.

"I guess you don't like strawberries, huh babygirl? Ok, Daddy will eat these later. Want to share Daddy's eggs?" He asked and she nodded so he sat up and pulled her into his side before he started to feed her. After the first successful attempt Milla walked in, her face betraying her disappointment. Juice wondered if the disappointment was aimed at him or herself.

"I just talked to Dondo. He offered to give me a raise to go to work. I had to turn him down. I just hope he won't hate me." Milla sighed as she sat on the bed and Espy crawled from her place next to her Daddy and climbed into her mama's lap. "So is there anything special you wanna do?"

"Finish breakfast then just spend the day with my girls. Nothing sounds better than that." He grinned with crinkling and Milla found herself grinning back. She may have felt bad about disappointing Dondo but she couldn't deny that being here with her husband and daughter made up for it. They were her life and making sure they were happy and secure was her top priority.

Juice watched as Milla took the extra spoon from the tray and started feeding Espy the eggs again. He felt a momentary surge of envy when he saw the familiarity of her movements, which was quickly replaced by awe over the fact that this was his family, a woman who loved him enough to put her life on hold for him and a little girl that was formed from the best parts of each of them. When Milla looked over at him he smiled wide again and loved that she smiled with him. Things were how they were supposed to be and he was going to do everything he could to make sure they stayed that way.

* * *

…

* * *

**Author's Note:** Hello all, here's the new story. I'm going to be focusing on the changes in Charming and the men adapting to life on the outside. I'll of course be focusing on Juice's transition from prisoner to family man, especially dealing with a wife that's become independent and self sufficient over the period he spent inside the prison walls. I know Juice may seem a little off but it's intentional. Prison changes people and 1%ers are no different. Thank you all for reading and I hope you enjoy this story.


	2. Chapter 2

**I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and storylines are my own.**

**Chapter Two**

"Hey, what're you doing up so early?" Juice asked as he stood in the doorway of the kitchen watching Milla feed Espy.

"I'm feeding Espy before Neeta comes here to watch her, then I'll be going to work. Dondo rescheduled his meeting to the distributor for this morning so I'm going in. Want me to make you something before Neeta gets here?" She asked as she gave him a smile and he shook his head.

"Nah, I'll make a protein shake at the clubhouse. I need to start my detoxifying regimen." He ran a hand over his face before he walked to the fridge and took out a bottle of water then joined them at the table. "Neeta come by every morning?"

"Not every morning, sometimes Ma takes her and the boys but today she's going to be spending the day with Dad, I think they're going to look into these experimental steroid shots for his hands. She'll pick Espy up in the afternoon for some baby time with her and Thomas. Abel has an appointment with his pediatrician so Tara's busy with that." Milla explained as she leaned over and wiped Espy's mouth off

Juice smiled at her word vomit before he took a drink of his water. She had it all together, her routine was solid and she was on the ball. He suddenly frowned but hid it with another sip of his water. He'd have to dissect the thoughts that just flashed in his mind at a later time but for now he'd just enjoy breakfast with his family.

"How late you gonna be at the studio? I was talkin' to Phil yesterday and he says there are nights Chantal doesn't get home until midnight." He asked as he tried to be nonchalant and Milla looked up at him again.

"Well, right now we're sending the latest film to print, we won't be filming any new scenes for at least a week, I should be back by six, plenty of time to make dinner and give Espy a bath. Is there anything you want?" She asked and he thought for a minute.

"Just make what you and Espy want to eat. I'm on this detoxifying thing and I have to be careful about what I eat. I'll be home late anyway, I need to stop by clear passages and talk over some business shit, get some bud." He explained and Milla nodded.

"Ok sounds good. When you get home could you take off your boots in the mudroom? Espy's a light sleeper and Koz always woke her up when he walked through the kitchen." She requested and Juice frowned for a second before he answered.

"I'll try to remember. Koz comin' back to the house tonight?" He asked and Milla shook her head.

"Nah, he's going up to Tacoma tonight. He's working out a transport issue. He'll be back in a few days." She told him then cleaned up Espy while he finished drinking his water. He didn't like the idea of having to take his boots off in the mudroom, it was his house, but he had to admit that waking up Espy wasn't a good thing. While they sat in silence Milla's phone vibrated on the table and she grabbed it and looked between him and Espy. "Can you watch her for a minute? This is Dondo and, knowing him, he's having a meltdown."

"No problem." He told her before he pulled Espy's highchair to him and looked at his little girl. "Does Mama run around like that all the time?"

He smiled as she reached for him then stood up and took her from the seat. There were a lot of things about his life that he was going to have some trouble adjusting to but cuddling his daughter definitely wasn't one of them.

…

"Thank you Mr. Dempsey. I'm so sorry about the miscommunication." Milla apologized as she walked the man out of the studio.

"I'm just glad we could sort this out Mrs. Ortiz. I'll contact Ms. Tau by Friday to discuss the increase in distributable titles." He told her and she nodded before they said their goodbyes as she watched him walk out then went back into the studio, deciding to stop by Dondo's office. She could hear multiple voices so she knocked and they quieted for a moment as the door opened.

"Milla, everything go well with Dempsey?" He asked and Milla nodded.

"It went great, he wants to distribute our whole line of "Saffron Sisters" films as well as the parody films. He was especially interested in our Thor parody. Are you in a meeting with someone, I don't remember scheduling you?" She asked him and he looked back into his office and frowned..

"Nothing scheduled but I had an interruption. In fact, why don't you join us?" He suggested and Milla looked at him expectantly as he moved out of the way. The sight that greeted her when she walked in the door caused her to stop in her tracks. She couldn't believe the balls on the man in front of her to walk into a Sons affiliated business. When he turned to look at her and his eyes widened, apparently the scumbag had a good memory.

"You didn't tell me this place worked with the Sons?" He practically shouted and looked between Milla and Dondo, creeped out by the vicious coldness in her eyes.

"Thanks to Milla, Lyla and Chantal we do have a few connections to the Sons and we know they have our back if things go South." He told the man who kept looking between Milla and Dondo. "Forgive me, I guess you already know each other but I'll introduce you anyway. Milla this is Georgie Caruso and his girl Ima, Georgie, this is Milla Ortiz. She's my personal assistant."

"Shit." Ima said as she looked at Milla who still had an eerily blank face.

"Forgive my rudeness. It's very nice to see you again Georgie, I'll be sure to call my brother and father and tell them all about this meeting." She gave him a smile then she turned to Dondo. "Do you have an address for our guest Dondo? I'm sure my brother would love to pay a visit."

She continued to smile as she took a seat on Dondo's couch and it became a smirk when she saw Georgie squirm uncomfortably in his seat. When she turned her eyes to Ima she held in a grin. The slut was still scared of her, it was a good thing. If there was one thing she'd learned from her mother it was that people were so much easier to manipulate if they feared you.

"Ok Georgie, now that Milla's here we can start the meeting. Unfortunately, Lyla has the day off so she'll have to be filled in later. Start again from the beginning." Dondo told them and Milla remained seated, though she was gripping her skirt in a death grip to keep from stabbing Georgie in the neck with a pen. He took her Auntie Lu from her, he didn't deserve to live.

"Well, like I said, I'm coming out with this new line of high-end sex-dolls. I have Asian backers and the whole shebang. I pay the girls a good price, we go to Japan and they get a cast made of their bodies done by the doll makers. Then they get pictures taken from every conceivable angle to make it realistic. I already have Ima's doll in production and I'd realy like Lyla to pose so we can have both Saffron Sisters in doll form. The sales would be astronomical. I'd also like to get Chantal Tau's likeness. She's still popular and I heard from a reliable source that she's working for you." He finished and Milla chuckled condescendingly.

"I'm sorry for interrupting the meeting it's just that Chantal's significant other wouldn't like that and I doubt you want to get on his bad side. Also, Lyla's fiancee would be aggressively against this plan. Georgie's encountered his type of aggression before and I'd hazard a guess that he didn't like it." Milla smirked as Georgie paled a bit but he rallied on.

"Think about it Dondo, rich pervs from around the world would be using your dolls for fun and they'd buy more of your videos to go with the spank session. Also, I'm willing to offer you and your girls a piece of this. Just think about it for now, ok?" Georgie pleaded and Dondo looke at Milla who stopped smirking and put the blank face back, the sleazeball didn't give up.

"I'll think about it and talk to Lyla. Also, Chantal's retired from star status and is my lead distribution manager, she won't be modeling for you. I can guarantee this because, like Milla said, Chantal's significant other wouldn't sign off on it and we all respect his opinion," Dondo explained as he stood and looked between Georgie and Milla. She looked like she was about to break down and he wanted to spare her any embarrassment. "I'll walk you both out. Milla, stay here, I need to talk to you for a minute."

Once they left Milla felt the first tear roll down her cheek. She felt so helpless being confronted with the man who was responsible for Luann's death and not being able to do anything. It made her sick to think about him still walking the earth and exploiting women like he did. It was so unfair, Luann deserved to be alive making sex dolls and turning Cara Cara into a powerhouse. While Milla tried to control her breathing Dondo came back into the office and sat with her on the couch, taking his handkerchief from his pocket and handing it to her while he frowned.

"What happened Milla? You're usually so polite and professional. Why did it feel like you were measuring coffins for Georgie and his girl?" He asked and Milla chuckled darkly as she finished dabbing her eyes.

"It's because I was measuring their coffins, or shallow graves. As for what happened, I hate that man, it's a hate that goes deep into my bones. That's all I can tell you, the rest is Club business." She told him before she took a deep breath. "Can I have an extended lunch? I have to make some phone calls. Also, can I have the address Georgie gave you?"

"His card's on my desk. Tell me now Milla, would going into business with Georgie be bad for my health?" He asked as Milla stood up and picked up the card from his death.

"Very bad, but don't close the door just yet. You never know when those connections will come in handy. So, can I have an extended lunch?" She asked and Dondo stood and opened his door.

"No problem, just be back for the meeting at two." He told her and she nodded.

"Thanks, Dondo." She told him before she walked out and he watched her. He didn't know what he'd just gotten himself into but he knew he had to tread lightly. Pissing off the Sons of Anarchy was a stupid move and Dondo wasn't that stupid.

…

"Shit, thanks for the heads up Millipede." Jax told his sister before he hung up and Juice looked at him from his spot by the doors of Stumpy's Diner where they'd had lunch with Opie and Hap.

"Everything ok with Milla?" He asked and Jax ran his fingers through his short buzz.

"Yeah but she had an interesting day so far. Turns out our favorite flesh peddler just got back from Asia with a line of sex dolls and wants to use our girls as models." Jax told Juice who cursed.

"Fuck, she sound upset?" Juice asked, as much as he wanted Georgie Caruso dead he was worried about his wife. Georgie fucked her over too.

"Sounded calm, said she called Clay too and he told her to stay at work. She's coming back to the clubhouse after work to give us the details. Have Ma keep Espy a little longer tonight." Jax told him and Juice nodded.

"You need me for anything else? I was supposed to go to the weed shop tonight, but if we're plannin' shit I need to take care of it now." He explained and Jax nodded as he took a cigarette out of his pack and lit up.

"Go on, just get back to the clubhouse when you're done. Also, see about gettin' me some king kush. It's been a long time man." Jax smiled his smirking grin and Juice smiled and nodded as he put his helmet back on. He was going to pick himself up some god bud so he could definitely get Jax some kush.

…

After the meeting at the weed shop Juice was feeling good. The shop was awesome, Stan and Bill were doing a good job running it and it was pulling in a steady profit. They were in a perfect location to get the health nuts and people with more money than sense for the colonics, massage and new agey bullshit Bill was peddling. They were also at a good centralized location for the stoners and genuinely ill people that needed Stan's special botanical assistance. The only thing that sucked was their receptionist, a girl barely out of her teens with more tits than brains who Juice was sure was screwing Bill. He'd have to talk to them about her and maybe find someone he could trust to work for them. He was still mulling over things as he pulled into T-M and parked in his customary spot. Milla wouldn't be in for a couple more hours so that meant he was free to enjoy the relative peace of the clubhouse for a while. That thought of freedom went out the door when he walked in and saw Milla sitting at a table with Chantal and Phil.

"Baby, hey." She greeted as she smiled at him and he walked to the table and tilted her head back for a kiss.

"Hey, I thought you'd still be at work." Juice greeted back as he took a seat and sat next to his wife who leaned over to kiss him again.

"Dondo sent me and Chantal home for the rest of the day. There's not really anything going on so it's no big." She told him and he nodded as he leaned back in his chair. He chatted with everyone at the table and surprised Milla by having a friendly conversation with Chantal, all of the animosity that colored their earlier relationship seemed to have given way to mutual respect. It was a big change and Milla was glad, the last thing she needed was her husband and best friend sniping at each other. He brought his hand to the back of her neck and massaged it while she moaned and smirked, he had magic fingers and knew how to use them. Before he could convince her to go back and take care of the results of her moaning Clay, Jax and Bobby came out of the Chapel and walked to the table where they were joined by the others.

Once everyone was situated Milla told them everything that happened, sparing no detail, then when she was done she gave them a copy of the business card, confirming their suspicions that Georgie had switched locations which meant that the eyes that the Sons had watching his business were completely useless. After she was done she looked expectantly at Clay and Jax, waiting for them to react. Eventually Clay took a heavy breath and looked at her, smiling lightly.

"You did good Angel, real good. We still have to figure out how we want this to play out but, for now, I want you girls to be on your toes. Don't be alone, ever, and have security with you if you need to go anywhere. Milla, I know you're hurtin' but don't talk Dondo out of this deal, he's our best link to the asshole. He doesn't trust you and anything you say or do will be suspect. We want Georgie feelin' comfortable before we do this. Ope, tell Lyla to go for it, have her agree to model, but tell them she's not leavin' the country. He'll have to scramble to make the arrangements and we can use that. Don't react to the asshole. Let him say and do what he wants, make sure you give him enough rope to hang himself. That clear?" He asked as he looked between Milla and Chantal who nodded. "Good, now you two head out, we've gotta take care of this."

Milla nodded again and stood. She gave her Dad a hug and squeezed tight as he kissed the top of her head. She'd missed this so much and would take any chance to hug her father.

"Be safe Angel." He kissed her head again and she nodded before she walked to Juice who stood and took her in his arms.

"Still gonna be home late?" She asked him and he shrugged.

"Don't know, depends on how long Church is. Wait up for me?" He asked and Milla nodded, raising herself a bit and kissing his lips gently.

"You know I will baby. I'd say with bells on but I doubt I'll have anything on when you get home." She smirked as he groaned then she kissed him on the lips again. "Don't make me wait too long."

After one more kiss he let her go and watched as she linked her arm with Chantal's and walked out of the clubhouse, her ass swaying a bit more than usual in a show he knew was for him.

"We're really lucky guys aren't we?" Phil asked as walked up to his sponsor, still watching his old lady walk with Milla. It was a sight he couldn't get enough of.

"Yeah we are man, we definitely are." He smiled at Phil and clapped the big man on the back and they walked to the chapel to start Church. They all wanted the same outcome it was just a matter of finding the right method to mete it out.

...

Juice walked into the kitchen from the mudroom. He'd taken his boots off like Milla requested and actually smirked as he made it to the stairs. He'd been home only two days and he'd already scored some brownie points. Maybe the transition wouldn't be so hard. As he walked down the hall toward their bedroom he stopped by the nursery and watched her sleep. Sometimes it was hard for him to believe this little person was his, he couldn't have done anything good enough to deserve her. He pushed her soft curls from her face before he walked to his bedroom and frowned in disappointment when he found Milla sound asleep on the bed, dressed in some flannel pajama pants and a t-shirt. She looked so peaceful that he decided against waking her up and closed the door behind him as he went to his closet and began the ritual of taking off his clothes and folding them before he transferred them to the chair by his closet. He draped his cut on the back of the chair then went to the bathroom. He was still horny from their exchange in the clubhouse and needed release so a quick shower and jerk would have to do.

Once he was out of the shower he climbed in bed and pulled Milla into his arms, loving the warm weight of her against his chest. This was what he'd missed the most about being inside and he would savor it now that he was home. He kissed her head then laid himself beside her. He was supposed to tell her about the Georgie thing but he'd let her sleep for now. They still had the morning after all and he planned to make the most of their morning.


	3. Chapter 3

**I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and storylines are my own.**

**Chapter Three**

"Milla, I need you on set." Dondo requested as he popped his head into his office and smiled as he saw her frantically typing something.

"I'll be there in a moment Dondo, I'm just finishing typing up the minutes from the meeting this morning." She told him as she paused the voice recorder then typed again.

"You can finish that later. I need you out here, you know what looks best for the daisy chain shots." He explained and Milla saved her work then locked her computer before she went to the door and locked it behind her.

"What?" She asked when Dondo raised an eyebrow.

"Why are you locking everything up? You've never locked your office before?" He asked and she shrugged.

"Well, since Georgie and his goons have been hanging around lately I felt it was prudent to secure my things." She told him honestly and he stopped her and placed his hands on her shoulders and looked intently into her eyes.

"If you don't want to do this deal just say so and I'll tell him to fuck off. No amount of money is worth risking you or my girls." He told her honestly and she felt her face soften with affection. Dondo was such a good person.

"We need to keep him close Dondo, remember what dad said." She reminded him as she referenced the round table meeting he'd had with the previous week and he nodded.

"Right, just let me know if things get to be too much. I could give you some vacation days." He told her and she reached up to pat his hand.

"Thank you Dondo, really." She smiled before she tilted her head toward the studio. "Let's go film this daisy chain before the girls get restless."

…

Juice turned up the volume on his iPod as he started his work with the jump rope. He'd just started his new training and was getting really into it. He'd finished the free weights and the crunches and now he was onto the rope to get his footwork back to the level it was beforore he went inside. Soon after he started his mind became occupied with thoughts that had accumulated over the last week, thoughts that frustrated and annoyed him.

When he got home he thought Milla would be clinging to him every minute, anxious to stay close to him. He was prepared to be annoyed with her, he was even prepared to have her quit her job so she could be at his beck and call every day. He expected her to be the perfect housewife, vacuuming the house in heels and pearls. He was actually looking forward to living the dream a town like Charming promised and with their new income from upping the deal with the Irish and his straight income from Clear Passages they were doing great, they'd even be paying off their mortgage within the next year without any need for the extra income Milla brought in. His life was going to go back to being about the Club and her life was going to be about him and Espy. It didn't happen that way though. No, she was hardly ever around and spent most of her time at the studio taking care of one disaster after another or she spent it running Espy around to Storytime, doctor's appointments and something called gymboree. She still made dinner most nights but was too tired for sex unless he caught her at that magic time between putting Espy to bed and finishing her schedule for the next day. That was not how it was supposed to be. He growled and increased his pace but stopped when he looked up and saw Opie leaning against the doorway, obviously waiting to get his attention.

"Hey Ope." He said as he coiled the rope and hung it on the peg with the others and took his buds out of his ears as the older man walked into the gym.

"Hey, I just wanted to let you know we've got church in few, we'll probably be going on a run later, we've got some transport issues with Rogue River." Opie explained and Juice nodded before he took a drink of water.

"Thanks man, can I ask you somethin?" He asked and Opie nodded before Juice continued. "When you got out of Stockton, how did you handle it? I mean Donna was workin two jobs and takin' care of the kids full time too. How did you feel?"

Opie thought for a second as he looked at Juice. He'd noticed how lost the other man had seemed and had wondered why. Now things made sense, he felt like he didn't fit in his family's life.

"I felt like I wasn't part of their family anymore. Donna was on the ball with everything, she had the kids' schedules down, her own, the house was in running order. It seemed like the only thing she needed me for was money and I wasn't bringing in enough. It was hard but we were finally starting to find our footing again, finally starting to fit again then she was killed. I think that made it harder, knowing we were so close to being a family again then it all fell apart." He explained and Juice just stared. He'd never gotten that many words out of Opie in one go before and he was shocked. "You worried about Milla?"

"No, I don't know. It just feels like I'm intruding on her life, like it's her house and I'm just there to visit."Juice explained and Opie nodded.

"I get that, Milla's had fourteen months to build a life for her and Espy. She's been the one to call for repairs when things break down, to take care of the house and your kid without anyone else's help. She stepped up because no one else was going to do it for her. Be proud man, she could've fallen apart but she didn't. You've got a good old lady." Opie told him before he walked up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Give her some time to get used to you again, it won't be like it was before but, you'll find a way to work it out. Milla's too stubborn for it to go any other way. Clean up, then we'll go to church."

He patted Juice heartily on the back then walked out while Juice grabbed a towel and cleaned up. As he toweled off his arms and head he thought about what Opie said. He was right, Milla had every chance to fall apart when he was locked up, to just curl in a ball and sob but she didn't. She ran their house and raised their daughter. She was used to doing it alone, it didn't mean that she wasn't ever going to need him again it was just that she wasn't used to him and that would take some time. He smiled as he thought about it. He would get his family back, it would just be slightly delayed.

…

"Hey." The soft voice greeted Milla from her doorway and she looked up to see Lyla standing there.

"Hey, do you need something sweetheart?" Milla asked, unsure how to take this visit. Lyla hadn't said anything to her after the cancellation of the wedding and she feared their friendship was done for.

"Yeah, I was wondering if we could talk?" Lyla asked and Milla nodded so she walked in and closed the door behind her. She sat down in the chair opposite Milla and took a deep breath before she spoke. "I want to start off by apologizing. I never should've taken my frustration out on you. You just did what you thought was best for all of us. I thought you didn't want me to be happy."

"Now what do you think?" Milla asked an Lyla gave her a smile.

"I think you want us all to be happy." She moved the chair closer. "Are we good again?"

"Of course, we always were. What else do you want to talk about?" Milla asked kindly and Lyla took a deep breath.

"Do we have to do this thing with Georgie? I know what he did to Luann and I get sick everytime I see him. He's also constantly telling me about his and Ima's sexlife and saying it would be so hot if I'd join in." She shuddered before she continued. "I told him that Opie wouldn't like that and that shuts him up for a little while then he starts again. I don't want to screw with the Club's plans but I don't think I can do this. I'm sorry Milla."

"Don't be sorry. The next time he visits the studio come get me. The scumbag knows my connections and backs off whenever I take out my cell. If you stick with me he'll keep his mouth shut. If he doesn't call Opie, he'll mobilize the Club." Milla explained calmly and Lyla got out of her chair and hugged her.

"I love you, always have always will." She told her and Milla smiled as she squeezed Lyla back.

"Same here, now go Dondo wants you to finish up those stills for the cover art today and you know how he is when he's in his artiste phase." Milla told her as she let go and Lyla smiled and nodded as she left the office with a bounce in her step.

Milla smiled as she watched her leave, relieved she still had Lyla. The last two weeks had been hell and now that it was over. She continued to smile as she went back to her work. It was a busy day and she had a lot to get through before she could go home to make dinner for her baby and her husband. Now that she knew his detoxifying regimen and diet it made things much easier. She'd just finished scheduling Dondo for the rest of the week when she heard a noise from her doorway, when she looked up she smiled wide.

"Juice! What are you doin' here?" Milla asked as she got up and walked to her husband who took her in his arms.

"I'm here to see you." He told her before he leaned his head down and captured her lips in a kiss. As it got heated he walked her into her office and closed the door behind them then walked her to her desk and leaned her against it. They stayed there for a few moments before his hand moved up the slit in her skirt and she pushed his chest gently and disengaged her mouth.

"Sorry baby, I'd love to continue this but I have a lot of work to get to. We can finish this later, I promise to stay awake." She smiled but the smile left her face when she saw the frown on her face. "What's wrong? If you want I can take a long lunch break and we can go to the clubhouse for a quickie I didn't mean-"

"That's not it babe." He interrupted her and moved away, trying to will away his newfound erection away. He was frustrated as hell but he understood her point. Besides he had to leave soon. "I'm leaving in about an hour. We've got a run."

"Where to?" She asked him as she resumed leaning on her desk.

"Rogue River, there are some transport issues." He told her and she nodded.

"How long do you think you'll be gone?" She asked him as she folded her hands over her knee and he looked at the bit of skin the movement showed as it brought the hem of her skirt up.

"A few days, it's not a big deal but we have a lot of stuff we need to sort out. I've gotta leave in about an hour." He told her and she nodded before she got up and wrapped her arms around his neck. She kissed him then smiled as she pulled away.

"You be safe and remember Espy and I love you." She told him as she took his hand in hers.

"Love you too, I'll call you when I can." He told her before he pulled her to him for one last kiss then moved away. He gave her a half-assed smile then went to the door and walked out. Milla was about to follow him when her phone rang, she answered quickly and looked toward the door, disappointed when she saw it close. Something felt off and it worried her.

…

Hours later...

Juice sat at the Rogue River clubhouse with a bottle of beer and a map in front of him. Clay had given him the task of finding a different route to Tacoma and he was on it. For one thing it was a responsibility he was happy to be given and it gave him a reason not to dwell on Milla's goodbye. It seemed so distant, almost cold compared to how she was before. She used to beg him not to go or at least promise he'd find his way back to her. Hell, he'd be guaranteed a farewell blowjob but not this time. She just told him to be safe and didn't ask for any details. It just made him more concerned about his place in her world and it hurt.

"Hey sexy, need some company?" He looked up and saw a sweetbutt standing by the table. She was tall with long blond hair, huge tits and a tan that actually looked real. Her skirt was little more than a belt and her breasts were fighting to break out of the strip of cloth bound around them. He smiled, this was a woman who wanted to be around him, even if was just because of the patch on his back.

"I'd love some." He told her as he folded up the map. He'd already found the route so he could enjoy this, enjoy being needed even if it was just for his patch.

She giggled and sat on his lap where she stayed. She asked him about being a Son, about his role and was suitably impressed when she learned he was Intelligence officer. He decided to have fun and ran a hand up her leg. He was on a run, and what happens on a run stays on a run.

…

Milla sat on her bed dressed in a pair of sweatpants and Juice's SAMCRO hoodie. She brought the sleeve up to her nose and sniffed in his scent, tears coming to her eyes. He hadn't called her at all since he left and she knew it was her fault. He'd come to the studio just to see her and tell her he was leaving. It was sweet and showed just how much he loved her. What did she do? She pushed him away and didn't even tell him she was going to miss him. She'd just been so damn busy juggling her schedule, Dondo's schedule, the photographer and catering. It was all too much and he came at the worst possible time. It was no excuse though, he deserved more from her. She wiped the tears from her eyes and moved to the side of the bed and picked up the burner from her nightstand drawer and hit the number for Juice's. She pressed it to her ear an waited but grew disappointed when there was no answer. Deciding against leaving a message she put the burner back and picked up her personal cell. She hit his number on speed dial and waited for him to answer but was disappointed when it went to voicemail.

"Hey baby, sorry about earlier today. I was just so frazzled. Anyway, Espy and I love you and miss you and can't wait to have you home. So be safe and remember, you mean everything to us and we love you more than anything. Be safe baby." She told him then took a deep breath when she hung up. She hoped that he got the message, there wasn't anything else she could do.

**…**

As Milla left her message Juice was busy getting what he felt he wasn't getting at home. With his tongue down the sweetbutt's throat and a hand up her skirt he felt needed, felt wanted and he was going to ride out that feeling as long as he could.


	4. Chapter 4

**I own nothing you recognize. Only original characters and storylines are my own.**

**Chapter Four**

Juice walked out of his dorm room in Rogue River. As he pulled his shirt on over his head he winced as a muscle protested. The chick had been like a contortionist and bent him in ways he didn't think were possible. Now he knew he was going to pay for it while he rode for hours on his bike. That is if Clay and Jax saw fit to keep him alive after his performance the night before. He grimaced as he remembered the looks on the Pres and VP's faces as he felt up the sweetbutt at his table and the death glare when he took her back to his room. What happens on a run would stay on a run but stepping out on the daughter of your Pres in plain sight was a different beast altogether. When he walked into the main room he was confronted by the sight of most of his SAMCRO brothers sitting in the area. He looked around and noticed a subdued air in the room so he cut his losses and sat at the bar where a sweetbutt placed a cup of coffee in front of him and he waved her off.

"No thanks, I'm on a detoxifying thing. No excess caffeine or processed shit." He explained and she simply took a bottle of water out and handed it to him. He took it and turned around as Chibs took the seat next to him.

"Mornin' Juicy, ya sleep alright?" The older man asked as he slammed back his hair of the dog and Juice contemplated what to say but Chibs continued. "Doesn' matter, I jus' wanted ta tell ya ta steer clear 'a Clay an' Jax as much as ya can today. They're not happy with ya Brotha."

"They have no right to be pissed at me. I was just getting what I needed. Road pussy is good pussy as long as it doesn't follow you home." Juice defended himself and Chibs nodded sagely.

"Aye it is but yer forgettin'. Yer wife's Clay's Angel and Jax's little sister, they love that girl. You steppin' out on her was like a slap ta both a their faces. They may have to understand and give ya a pass but they don' have ta like ya fer it." Chibs explained and Juice let out a breath. "Ya wan' my advice?"

"Yeah." Juice nodded and Chibs clapped a hand to his shoulder.

"Make sure none a' this gets back ta Milla. That girl's been ta hell and back over the las' fourteen months, raisin' yer kid an' keepin' yer house. She deserves better than ta know some road whore rode yer cock. Ya owe 'er that much if ya don' think ya owe 'er anythin else." Chibs told him and his stomach flipped. "Another bit a' advice... Take a long shower before Tacoma gets here. Ya don' need ta be on Koz's bad side too."

Juice just nodded and once Chibs left he got up and went back to the dorm room for a shower. Washing off the evidence of the night before suddenly seemed like the greatest idea in the world. Once he was under the spray he scrubbed his skin until it turned red and turned the heat up as high as he could stand it but now matter how long he stayed under the spray it didn't change the fact that he'd done something stupid and broken a promise he'd made long ago.

…

Milla sat at her kitchen table eating a quick breakfast. It may have been her day off but she was by no means free. She had to go to Opie's and get the kids so Lyla could run some errands that weren't kid friendly, then she was taking them bowling for a few hours, during which time she had to watch Espy like a hawk and arrange for Kenny's birthday party. Then she had to take them out for dinner before she'd drop them back home and take Espy to her mom's for the night. Then her night would be filled with paperwork and cleaning her kitchen. She wished Juice was home, she missed him more than she thought she would. She may have been used to it just being her, Espy and Koz most of the time but now her man was home and she had someone to sleep with at night and for the first time in over a year she was truly sleeping.

With a sigh she finished her last slice of orange before she got out of her chair and brought her dishes to the sink. She had a lot to do and didn't have a lot of time to do it.

…

_Two days later..._

Juice felt his stomach twist as they pulled into T-M after the run. His stupidity and loneliness had led to another round with a different sweetbutt and he felt like scum. He didn't know how Clay or Jax could do it, how they could use women like toilet paper and then go back to their wives like nothing happened. He knew Gemma was a battle axe, but he also knew that Clay loved her with his heart and soul so it wasn't like he was getting comfort from the women to make up for what he lacked. If anything Gemma kept him more than occupied. At the thought he revved his bike a little louder and pulled a bit ahead of Chibs in an effort to get ahead of the man who found ways of reminding him how stupid he'd been and what he was risking. Determination set in and he kept pace with his brothers. He needed to get home and take his wife in his arms. Once he did that he'd erase Rogue River from his mind and go back to being the man he knew he could be, a good man, a man who deserved the family he had.

As he pulled into the lot he scanned it and was surprised to see the van parked and Milla sitting on a picnic table with Gemma and Espy. Once he parked she hopped off her seat and practically ran to him. He caught her and savored the long, hard kiss she gave him. When she pulled away he found himself grinning at her and was happy to see her grinning back. Still he had to know why she was there.

"What're ya doin' here baby? Don't you have work?" He asked and she pulled herself closer to him so her breasts pressed flat against his chest and his smile turned to a smirk.

"I took the afternoon off. My man was coming home today and I wanted to show him just how much I missed him. Wanna take me into the dorms and show me how much you missed me too?" She continued to push up against him and he threw caution to the wind and grabbed her ass as he kissed her again.

"Go ahead of me babe. I'll be right behind you, watchin' that ass." He growled and she giggled as he smacked her ass then walked to the clubhouse with him following behind. If anything could get Rogue River scrubbed clean from his mind it was afternoon delight with his wife, nothing could beat that.

...

_Later that night..._

"I've been thinking, when Espy's two we should try for another baby." Milla suggested as she rested on Juice's chest as they came down from their post coital high. "I mean, I know having two kids is a lot of responsibility but once Espy's two she'll be more independent and-"

Juice cut her off with a kiss. He loved the idea, the more kids they had the happier he'd be. In fact a houseful of little Ortizes had always been a dream of his and there was no one he wanted to have kids with but Milla.

"Why wait? I wanna have a houseful of kids with you baby, smart little tweakers with your eyes and hair. We could start working on it now." He grinned and Milla smiled with him but shook her head.

"Too much is going on right now baby. I'd rather slowly transition into motherhood mode before we try for more. That's why I'm on birth control right now, I didn't want any surprises." She told him and he took a deep breath as a flash of anger went through him but disappeared almost as soon as it arrived. She was right, there was too damn much going on for her to worry about a young child and baby on the way. Hell, he was still getting used to being a father to one.

"I get it, I really do but what do you mean "transition into motherhood"?" He asked and Milla smiled and snuggled into his chest.

"I mean transitioning into full-time mommyhood. I'd find a job where I could work from home, one that wasn't demanding and concentrate on raising our children, giving them a well-rounded upbringing. Think about it, I'd get to spend the day with my babies and still bring in a steady income and take care of our home. I'd be a modern Donna Reed, only I'd actually share a bed with my husband. I wouldn't be as tired or frazzled and we'd finally get a chance to create a routine together. It's the life I've always wanted with you." She smiled and Juice took a deep breath.

"That's my dream too baby." He leaned down and kissed her head as his mind went back to the thoughts that had been plaguing him for weeks. He thought she didn't need him or even want him and here she was working toward building the life he'd dreamed of and he repaid her by betraying her. Once she fell asleep he got out of bed and took a shower, he suddenly felt like scum and he needed to wash that feeling away.

…

_One week later..._

"Hey, Juicy, we're headin' out to Oswald's. You feel like ridin' with us?" Bobby asked as he poked his head in the kitchen and Juice nodded as he turned around.

"Sounds good, I've gotta take a piss though." He told the older man before he downed the rest of his protein shake.

"Hurry it up then." Bobby ordered before he left the room again and Juice placed his glass in the sink before he went to the bathroom. With a deep breath he took himself out of his pants and grit his teeth as his dick burned while he let a stream loose. He wasn't a big enough idiot to ignore the signs and symptoms, one of the bitches in Rogue River gave him something and he needed to get tested. He hoped Milla didn't get this shit, there was no way he could explain it away.

…

Milla growled as she looked herself over in the mirror. She'd had a mild fever that morning and it had come and gone throughout the day, it wouldn't have been so bad if she didn't get a heat rash from it. The rash itself had started out manageable but now it was starting to creep out from under her collar and soon she wouldn't be able to cover it. She'd taken out her compact and was starting to apply the base when the door opened and Ima walked in, ever since Georgie and Dondo had started their "partnership" the stupid bitch had begun to spend far too much time at Big Don Studios and it rubbed Milla the wrong way. Hell, Ima just rubbed Milla the wrong way.

"You should apply a darker shade around the red spot sweetie. It'll create a shadow to hide the mark better." Ima said in an oddly helpful tone before she moved beside Milla and took out her lipstick. "Use mine, your skin tone is so light I doubt you have anything darker."

Ima went back into her purse and took out a compact. She slid it over near Milla then resumed putting on her lipstick.

"I'll help you if you need to do some layers and shading. It's in an awkward spot anyway. What happened, hubby got some stubble?" Ima asked with a smile on her face that was friendly and her voice didn't hold the usual haughty snark and Milla just looked at her. "Listen, I know I've done some awful shit to you. I made a stupid mistake and you got hurt and I can never make up for what you lost because of me but I'd like to try. You used to be one of my best friends Milla. I need friends, especially friends who try to talk me out of stupid decisions."

"Why would I ever trust you again Ima? Answer me honestly, what could you possibly do to make me forgive you for the shit you pulled and people you hurt. It wasn't just me Ima, it was Tara, Luann, Chantal. Those women are my family and each own a part of my heart and you walked all over them in your platform hooker heels. Even if I were to forgive you for almost costing me my baby I couldn't betray them." Milla explained and Ima shook her head and looked back toward the mirror.

"Family, family, family... You're like a broken record. Do you ever put yourself first, how you feel? I always thought it would do you good to put yourself on top for once, be a little selfish." Ima told her and Milla turned to her and chuckled.

"Be selfish huh? How's that working out for you Ima. You have no one who really loves you, you're living with your glorified pimp and you'll be dropped the minute your tits meet gravity. I'm sorry Ima but I like taking care of the people I love and who love me back. I don't have to worry about growing old and losing my man because he loves me. I have everything because I wasn't selfish Ima. Think about that." Milla gave her a condescending smile before she grabbed her compact and left the bathroom clutching her bag, feeling satisfied with the confrontation. She'd been wanting to say those words for a long time and it was a weight off her mind. Now, maybe, she could find some way to forgive Ima. If she proved herself worthy.

…

_Three days later..._

"Morning beautiful." Juice greeted his wife as he ducked down for a kiss. He'd just finished his morning routine and was looking forward to breakfast with his family.

"Morning, what's the regimen supported breakfast for this morning?" Milla asked as she wiped off Epy's face then her little hands. They'd had oatmeal for breakfast and she was messy.

"Detoxifying protein shake and multigrain toast. I can make it babe." He told her as he went to the bread box and took out the loaf of srtisan bread he'd picked up the night before. "What's on the agenda for today?"

"Well, I have an early appointment at the doctor, the yearly perusal of my ladyparts and a blood screening. Then I'm going to the gym for a few hours to work on my tummy. Finally, I'm coming home and making dinner. Anything you want?" Milla asked and Juice thought for a second as he thought about his new diet.

"Make anything you want, I have to do a cleanse before bed so I can have anything." He told her, being the accommodating husband he'd been for the last week.

"Ok, I know what I'm going to make. You gonna be home in time tonight?" She asked and he nodded. "Good, I have a special dessert planned."

As she smiled at him he walked back to her and leaned down for a long kiss. He loved this woman and the family she gave him and he was going to do whatever he could to make up for his mistake. A mistake she wouldn't ever find out about.

…

Milla sat on the chair in her exam room. The doc had wanted her to sit on the exam table but she was acting sketchy during the exam so Milla opted to not have her ladyparts on full display. That type of vulnerability would not be tolerated. While she sat she picked up a pamphelet on STI's sitting on the table by her arm an smirked. She'd have to ask the doctor if there was a place she could order them, the guys needed a reminder of what the croweaters were harboring between their legs. While she flipped through the little book the door opened and her doctor walked in, a stern but almost pitying look on her face.

"Oh, Dr. Malick, I wasn't expecting you back right away. Sorry for not staying on the table." Milla apologized and the doctor gave her what was supposed to be a reassuring smile.

"Actually I'm glad you're not on the table. Further vaginal examination isn't necessary. Mrs. Ortiz, I have some very...delicate...questions to ask you." The doctor told her as she took a seat on her rolling chair and moved so she was across from Milla.

"Is something wrong Dr. Malick? Am I pregnant?" She asked nervously and the doctor got that pitying look again.

"No Milla, you're not pregnant. That's actually a blessing in this case." She told Milla before she looked her dead in the eye. "I need to know, have you been having unprotected sex?"

She asked the question in all seriousness and it took all of Milla's willpower to keep a straight face. That had to be the stupidest question she'd heard in years, but she chocked down her laugh and answered the question seriously.

"Yes, Ma'am, I have unprotected sex every night, sometimes several times a day." She explained and the doctor looked ready to lecture before Milla smiled. "I have that sex with my husband, no one else. Why do you need to know about my sex life?"

"You're sure you haven't been with anyone but your husband Mrs. Ortiz?" Dr. Malick asked and Milla felt her stomach turn. She wasn't going to kid herself, with questions like this things weren't good.

"No, no one else...ever...He's my only sexual partner." Milla told her as she began to feel light headed.

"Then I'm sorry to tell you this Mrs. Ortiz but we've concluded that you've contracted chlamydia. The rash on your neck was the first symptom I noticed, following that I noticed some thick discharge during your vaginal examination coupled with some swelling and inflammation to your vaginal vault. I took a culture that will be available in twenty-four hours which will tell us the strain you've contracted. The diagnoses was confirmed by the blood test. We'll start you on a course of strong antibiotics to begin and arrange a follow-up for one month from now. I don't recommend having unprotected intercourse during the duration of your treatment due to risk of pregnancy." The doctor seemed to rush forward with her diagnoses and Milla couldn't blame her. She was sure her face betrayed every emotion coursing through her body. She had chlamydia and there was only one way she could have contracted it. Suddenly she was freezing and she felt like throwing up.

"Is there, is there anything else I should use? Creams or salves?" Milla asked in an attempt to stay sane.

"I'll write you out a prescription for the antibiotic as well as a cream that should calm any itches or irritation. I'm sorry Mrs. Ortiz for asking the indelicate questions but I needed to know the source to treat you." Dr. Malick apologized and Milla nodded.

"Thank you for telling me and please, doctor, call me Milla." She requested as she felt her eyes go hard. She'd just become angry and she liked this feeling better than the humiliation.

…

Juice walked into the clubhouse with his brow furrowed. Phil had insisted that he go there right away but wouldn't give details and it freaked Juice out. Normally the big man was zen but he seemed tweaked. As he walked toward the bar he heard voices coming from the side and walked toward them, stopping when he saw Tig and Bobby looking into the gym, concern on both their faces.

"What's wrong?" He asked and Bobby shook his head while Tig smirked.

"Listen for yourself. Your old lady's puttin' on quite a show." He chuckled and turned back to the room while Juice mved through them and stopped in his tracks when he saw Milla viciously attacking the weighted bag while Chibs stood solemnly behind her.

"Dirty, motherfucking, son of a bitch!" She yelled as she hit the bag with a combo then started muttering nonsensically as she brought the gloves to her mouth and undid the ties with her mouth. "Lying, cheating asshole!"

At the word "cheating" Juice's eyes widened and he looked at Chibs who set his mouth in a line and walked up to Milla.

"Yer man's here darlin', I wouldn't take off the gloves yet." He said softly to her and Milla let her arms fall to her side and looked at her husband, the pain and humiliation evident.

"Can we have a few minutes alone? I need to ask him something. Please Chibs." She turned her big, tear filled eyes to the Scotsman who nodded.

"Aye, we'll be outside if ya need us." He told her but his eyes turned to Juice who was silently begging him not to go. After squeezing Milla's shoulders he walked out without sparing Juice a second glance and shut the door behind him, leaving the couple alone.

"Milla, I-" Juice began and she cut him off by raising a gloved hand.

"Stop right there, I'm not talking to you with these on my hands." She told him then resumed removing the gloves. Once she got her right free she untied the other glove then threw them to the floor. "How much did you hear?"

"Enough, what was that about?" He asked, playing the moron and Milla ran her hand through her hair.

"Don't play dumb Juice, at least have enough resepct for me to come clean. You owe me that much." She looked him dead in the eye and took a calming breath.

"How did you find out?" He asked, giving her the respect she deserved and she bit her lip.

"I had my appointment today, an entire pelvic exam including blood screening and x-rays. The dc noticed some discharge and my rash and came to the conclusion that it was chlamydia. The blood test confirmed it. Do you know how humiliating it is to explain to another woman that you only have one partner so you can't be the cause of your STI?" She asked rhetorically then chuckled. "After that humiliation, where my worst fears were realized I came here, hoping to find a reasonable explanation. Poor Phil, he didn't know what hit him. I had him cornered immediately and suckered him into telling me what he knew. He knew you hooked up with someone else but didn't have the details. Don't punish him too harshly, I believe a threat to his balls was on the table at the time. Once he told me what he knew I stalked into the clubhouse and Chibs found me and brought me in here in an attempt to work out my anger. Now, I'm talking to you..."

"What do you want me to say?" Juice asked helplessly and Milla sat on the weight bench as the first tear rolled down her cheek.

"I want to know why. Did I do something wrong? Did I hurt you in some way? Did you stop loving me?" She asked and Juice suddenly grew angry, it was better to be angry than admit he was a tool and deserved every bit of this.

"Don't say that shit! You know I love you, maybe I love you too much, expect too much from you. This wouldn'tve happened if you'd found the time to take care of my needs, to show me you still need me. Hell, you have no right to be mad at me, what happened was on a run, it stays there." He raised his voice and Milla stood with angry tears forcing their way down her cheeks.

"No! Not if it comes back and slaps me in the face!" She shouted and took a deep breath. "You...you gave me an STI that you picked up from some whore, you humiliated me by bringing this back with you. Have you thought about that? What happened followed you home and now I have to deal with the shame of knowing that not only did you break your promises to me, not only did you betray me, you risked our lives by being stupid. You fucked up Juice and I won't take responsibility for that. If you wanted attention all you had to do was talk to me and we could've worked it out. Now, I don't see us recovering from this. I don't see myself trusting you again."

With those words she started to walk to the door and Juice stopped her, his eyes staring into her, pleading for her to understand but she just gave him a blank, cold look and he let her go. There was nothing he could say, no way to defend himself. As usual she said what needed to be said and left no room for argument. Once Milla was out the door and he could hear her shoes in the hallway he sat on the workbench and put his head in his hands as he fought back the tears that wanted to pour forward. He couldn't cry, couldn't breakdown because this was his fault. He'd fucked up and now he had to pay a price for it. He hoped the price wasn't his family.


	5. Chapter 5

**I own nothing you recognize. Only original storylines and characters belong to me.**

**Chapter Five**

Bobby walked into the clubhouse feeling like a weight had been lifted from his shoulders. He'd gone to Stockton to talk to Otto about the Georgie Caruso situation and had confessed to his sexual relationship with Luann and it had gone as well as expected. Otto had called for Caruso's death but had agreed that bleeding him dry first was a good thing for the Club. They'd have their revenge and profit from the scumbag too. The only thing Otto didn't agree with was Milla being part of the plan. He may have been in prison but that didn't mean he stopped caring about his Tiny. As he ran a hand through his shaggy hair he looked around the main room and frowned when his eyes caught Juice slumped in his seat at his desk looking miserable and Bobby felt sorry for the kid, even if he was a big enough idiot to screw a sweetbutt unprotected.

"Hey kid." He greeted as he walked up to the desk and pulled up a chair. Juice looked up at him blearily and nodded.

"Hey, ya need anything?" He asked in a voice scratchy from disuse and Bobby studied him closely. His eyes were red from the bingeing he'd been doing the last few days and he had a growth of stubble on his face and head that showed just how little he cared about his appearance. The boy looked rough and Bobby shook his head.

"I just wanna know how you're doin'. You've been goin' around like a zombie for the last few week and it's startin' to worry us. If you can't handle shit at home, how can we expect you to handle shit for the Club?" Bobby asked gently, hoping the question would sink in and get Juice to react and was concerned when it didn't.

"How can I be expected to handle shit at home when Milla's shut me out? I go home every night to find a home cooked dinner and my daughter already in bed. My wife eats dinner with me but when we talk I only get one word answers unless I ask about Espy or the house. I've done everything I can to let her know I love her but she's not having any of it. I don't know what to do." Juice said helplessly as he ran a hand over his face and Bobby just continued to look at him evenly.

"I know I'm gonna regret asking this but have you had sex with her? Is she holding out?" Bobby asked and Juice sighed.

"Yeah, last night. We went to bed and I tried talking to her and she turned on her side. I decided that I wanted to get any kind of reaction I could from her so I started touching her. She gave in but she just laid there, didn't participate. It was like fucking a dead fish. I didn't even finish." Juice told him and Bobby nodded and placed a hand on his shoulder.

"Sounds like you have a long way to go but it's not hopeless. She still lets you touch her and hasn't kicked you out. Believe me, it could be a hell of alot worse." Bobby tried to reassure him and Juice just nodded, his eyes betraying his thoughts. He didn't think things could possibly get worse.

…

"Knock, knock." The soft voice from her doorway caused Milla to look up from her impromptu nap on her desk. She knew it was horrible and unprofessional but she wasn't sleeping well and sharing a bed with Juice took its toll on her nerves and spirit.

"Chanty...hey...please don't tell Dondo about this. I know he wouldn't be mad but I want him to think I'm all together and-" The word vomit was cut off by Chantal putting a finger to her lips and shushing.

"Don't worry bestie, I just wanted to check on you. I know things are tough right now. Still not sleeping?" Chantal asked the obvious question and Milla shook her head.

"I don't know what to do Chantal. I still love him, still want him but...he promised a long time ago that he'd be faithful. It wasn't just wedding vows, he promised before we were even together that it was only me for him. Now I feel cheap, like I meant nothing to him. If he could take something so important and outsource it to a whore, what does that say about me?" Milla asked and felt some of the weight leave her chest for the first time since the doc had given her the diagnosis.

"What it says is that he's a human. He fucked up like everyone does from time to time. Yes, the fuckup was huge, ginormously huge but it was still just a fuckup. I know for a fact that he feels remorse. Just looking into his eyes shows how sorry he is. Forgive him, or not, it's your call but don't just write him off. You've been through too damn much together to just call it quits. As for how he feels about you... You're his world, it took me a long time and broken heart to accept that fact but I do. He would do anything for you and Espy and has. I know this hurts but I know, without a doubt, that he'll find a way to make it up to you and I'd be shocked as hell if he ever stepped out on you again. The risks were definitely not worth the reward." Chantal explained calmly to her best friend who suddenly burst into tears and let her head fall to the cushion of her arms on her desk.

"He thinks I don't need him anymore." came the muffled sob from the desk. "He's all I've ever needed."

"Oh honey." Chantal soothed as she walked to Milla and pulled her into a hug. As the two women hugged Milla's door opened.

"Can I join in ladies?" At the sound of Georgie's voice Milla pulled away from Chantal and wiped her eyes and the other woman sent a glare at Georgie. She knew the Club needed to use the prick but that didn't mean she had to pretend to like him.

"Can I help you Mr. Caruso?" Mlla asked as she straightened up and grabbed a tissue to dab her eyes.

"Yeah, Dondo said there was a free space in the studio for my office. Since I'm goin' all in with Big Don I need an office." He explained and Milla was pleased he was being professional for once.

"Um, yes there is a space. It's small and needs to be painted but once that's done you can move any furniture you need into the space." She explained and Georgie nodded.

"How small are you talkin'? Bigger or smaller than this one?" He asked as he eyed the room.

"Smaller, only slightly. Is that all you needed?" Milla asked, eager to get him out of her office.

"That's doable, the office I mean. I need you to do me a favor Millie, Lyla's bein' wishy-washy about the doll thing and I know she listen to you. I'll give you a cut if you get her to work with us." He gave her his "winning" grin and she gave him a steady stare.

"First of all, it's Mrs. Ortiz to you, never Millie. Secondly, it's Lyla's call. She's an adult and can do as she wishes. Thirdly, I don't like the fact that we're doing business with you but Dondo's a visionary and if he thinks working with you is the best thing I'll go along with it. I don't mean to be mean or unprofessional Mr. Caruso, I just feel it's best to lay everything out on the table. I'll work with you, but I don't need to be friendly." Milla explained and Georgie took a breath.

"Whatever you say Mill- Mrs. Ortiz. Let me know about the paint situation." He told her before he walked back out the door and Milla sighed and looked at Chantal.

"I don't know how much longer I can put up with all of this Chanty." She sighed again and Chantal pulled Milla's head to her chest and held her. Things were going to get better, they had to.

…

_That Night..._

"I made some steamed spinach with an herbed turkey breast and russet potatoes with rosemary. It shouldn't be too heavy." Milla explained as Juice walked into the kitchen and he nodded before he walked over to where she was on the stove working on the spinach and wrapped his arms around her. "Go sit down, I have to finish this."

He didn't listen as he pulled her more tightly against him and began to run his lips against her neck. She tried to pry his arms from around her but he held on. She was his woman, she should want to be with him. Even if he made a mistake.

"You need to shave, your stubble hurts." She admonished him and he moved away, immediately feeling guilty about the red marks he'd left on her neck.

"Why should I shave, it's not like I need to?" He snidely replied and Milla sighed before she moved the steamer to an empty burner.

"You should shave because it will make you look better and feel better. Also, I don't want Espy to think her Daddy's a slob." She explained before she went to the fridge to get out the butter that would go on the spinach.

"She's one, she won't care. Besides, it's not like I see her much anymore." Juice said with an edge and regretted it when Milla sat at the table and looked at him, her eyes lost.

"What are we doing here Juice? I ignore you and you snipe at me. I'm scared every time you go to the clubhouse that you're fucking everything that moves, more scared that you'll bring back something they can't cure or leave a little something behind. I don't know how to deal with these new fears, I'm not used to this and I never want to be. Compound that by being near you all the time and you coming up with new ways to guilt trip me and make me feel inadequate and worthless..Jesus, Juice." She laid it all out and he felt guilty. He knew he was being an asshole but it was just to get a reaction out of her. He'd never intended to cause her this much pain.

"What do you wanna do Baby?" He asked and she looked at him as a tear moved down her face.

"I...I've been fighting this for a while now, I've tried to be strong and tough this out but I can't, I can't just pretend like we're ok because we're not. I need to be away from you Juice. For a night, a month, hell I don't know but being around you right now fucks with my head. I love you, more than is probably healthy, but I can't do this right now." Milla explained and felt like another weight had been lifted from her shoulders. She'd just said the words that had been moving around in her head for days that she hadn't even been able to vocalise to herself.

"When do you want me out?" He asked as he felt his stomach sink and Milla began to cry.

"You're not going...I am...I'm taking Espy with me once I find somewhere I can go. I can't stay here without you but I can't stay with you right now so this is the only option." She explained and Juice took a deep breath.

"No, you're not takin' my daughter from her home and you're not leavin' me. We'll work this out, it'll take time but we will. I know I've been an asshole but I'll change, just stay with me. You said you love me and love means stickin' together when the path is rough." He told her and she shook her head.

"No baby, not this time. I want to forgive you, to move on but being here with you is like being locked in a meat freezer. It's cold and there's no escape." She explained and he finally had tears in his eyes.

"You can't leave me, you and Espy are all I have." He pleaded and Milla cried harder but shook her head.

"I have to leave, I can't be here. I'm sorry but the only way I can move on and be with you again is to spend some time apart. We need this separation, it's the only way we can move forward." She explained and he rubbed a hand over his face.

"I'm just supposed to accept this? I'm supposed to be ok with you takin' my little girl? She needs me." He said and Milla wiped her eyes.

"She's coming with me but I'm not taking her from you. You'll be able to see her when you want. I'd never dream of keeping her from you but I'm better equipped to take care of her." She explained and Juice clenched his fists.

"Think about this, wait a few days and if you still feel like we need this space I'll let you go but, please, give me a chance to fix this." He pleaded and Milla nodded and took a deep breath.

"Ok, we'll stay a few days." She told him before she put her head in her hands to cry again. She'd never felt so lost.

Juice stood from his seat and walked out of the kitchen before he walked up the steps and went into Espy's room. When he walked to her crib he stared down at her and felt his heart break a little. She was his little girl and he'd missed the first year of her life and now his stupidity would cost him even more time. As he ran his fingertips over her perfect little face he leaned down to kiss her little head.

"Daddy screwed this up but he's gonna fix it. Losing you and your mama isn't an option babygirl." He whispered before he kissed her head again. "I love you Peanut, nothing changes that."

He pressed his forehead against her head before he stood and walked to her door. He looked back one last time before he left. He'd meant everything he said to her. He'd find a way to fix the damage he'd done. He couldn't lose his family, not when he'd just gotten them back.

* * *

…

* * *

**Author's Note:** Sorry for the delay but I couldn't figure out how to word the thoughts swirling in my head. Things finally clicked and here we are. It was originally supposed to be longer but it ended up sounding clunky toward the end of the chapter so I decided to stop here and the rest will be in the next chapter. I hope you're all still reading and enjoying my work.


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